Peru

The last blog series fell by the way side because no one commented. How childish I am. This Bog is so that I can hear myself think not so that I can have comments feed my ego. : )

The month of December was a journey to remember. We went on a mission trip to Peru. I think back to how I worried about everything before we left. What else do I need to bring with us? That was a constant thought as though I couldn't live with out my stuff here. The majority of my thoughts and worries were about safety. Read some of the reports about Lima Peru on the internet and you will understand what I was worried about. I also worried about getting sick from the food, water, air, whatever! It is good to have a good dose of preparedness mixed with a sense of reality, but I fret over what is unknown to me so much. It was how I expressed my apprehension and excited anticipation about the trip. So with all of my little bottles of everything we could possibly need pharmaceutically and enough probiotics, and airborne in my system for the last two weeks we set off on our adventure.

(I don't think John worried about anything having been on two mission trips previously.)

It was an amazing time. There was a group of 35 of us from Wisconsin that went. We only knew 8 of the group prior to going because they were pastors from the conference. It was great to see everyone's excitement and hear stories about how people were able to raise the funds to go by rummage sales and gifts from church family. When there is a will and determination to go, the funds will come because of generous people and God's desire to get us there. We quickly became a family of friends. We had the group buddy system for safety wherever we went. We had a few extra days to "relax" and prepare for the meetings to start so that lent itself for us to be brave and explore a little in Miraflores where our hotel was located. Those were some fun adventures laughing with new friends.

the first Saturday we met our translator, Sandra and our host pastor, Ronald. There are 5 churches in his district and so we visited each one encouraging the people to bring their neighbors and friends to the meetings starting the next night. Everyone was so happy that we had come and waved enthusiastically and shook our hands or hugged us. We saw the site that we would be doing the meetings and met the sweet lady who was donating her home to start this new church. We let go of most of our fears of the unknown that day. We already knew who was at work here.

Each night we were enthusiastically greeted. Many came because they wanted to hear the health messages that I presented, but they got more than that. They heard John speak next of Jesus's love and desire for their lives and people were changed that week. I had only prepared for giving health messages, but God had a bigger plan for me. The pastor begged me to do something for the children so on the second night I started sharing with the kids after I shared the health topic. The children shared with me. I was so glad that I didn't say no to God and his reminder that I was there to help and serve. I was reminded that I didn't have to have a big production, but needed to have a genuine smile and heart for the children. They loved acting out bible stories, singing songs in english, teaching me songs in spanish and loved the crafts that I scrounged up for them. They loved the tall white, blue eyed girl from Wisconsin that came to spend time with them.

The new church was dedicated at the end of the meetings. 10 people gave their lives to Jesus and 10 people dedicated themselves to serve as mentors to them in this new beginning for the neighborhood that knows of pickpockets, other forms of theft and prostitution. It was hard to say goodbye to this group of people who had accepted us as family. They are family, in the family of God, miles away.

Oh how I loved coming back to the hotel each night to hear about all of the other teams experiences in their churches. We all had the shared excitement of seeing people take a step forward to accept a new life. We were all safe during our whole journey, and most of us didn't get sick. Most of us left with the question of wonder of where God will send us next.

CAPTIVATING 2

Chapter 2 (summarized)

What Eve Alone Can Tell

"Eve is the crescendo, the final astonishing work of God. Woman. She is the Master's finishing touch." Every woman should remind herself that "the whole, vast world is incomplete with out me. Creation reached its zenith in me." Eve is created because things were not right with out her.

Women are relational to their core. This tells us of God's desire and capacity for intimate relationship, yearns for relationship with us. God longs to be loved by you. God yearns to share a life of beauty, intimacy and adventure with us.

God's mission to Adam and Eve to be fruitful and conquer (Gen 1: 26-28) shows we are to live this adventure of life together. Eve is his "ezer kenegdo" helper, companion, help meet, sustainer beside him, lifesaver alongside. This reflects God's plan to be the lifesaver alongside his created beings, to share in the adventure alongside, not in the sidelines.

Beauty. The created world is filled with the glory of God. The reason why a woman asks, Do you delight in me? is because God does as well. God id captivating beauty.

Beauty speaks. In nature there is rest. That is what it is like to be with a woman at rest. a woman comfortable with her feminine beauty.

Beauty invites. Beauty nourishes and offers life. Beauty comforts and soothes the soul. Beauty inspires. Beauty is transcendent and is sometimes so deep it pierces us with a longing. Beauty draws us to the creator, to God. One of the deepest ways a woman bears the image of God is in her "mystery"- something to be explored. God wants to be known and sought after by those who would know him.

CAPTIVATING

Most of you know how much I enjoy reading a good book. How many of you have read "Captivating" By John and Stasi Eldridge? If you have read it again and comment, and if you haven't, read it. I am only on chapter 5 and I am reading it slowly. I am doing something I never do as well, which is taking notes and journaling on my self reflections. It is a lovely experience.

Chapter 1 (summarized)

A Woman's Heart

A woman's heart desires to be romanced. We love feeling wanted and fought for.

A woman's heart desires a irreplaceable role in a great adventure. a woman is a warrior too.

A woman's heart desires beauty to unveil. To be beautiful, feel beautiful and recognized as beautiful. She has a desire to be captivating in the depths of who she is. In the beauty of your heart, and depth of spirit.

embracing the cold

It is here again so abruptly. cold days. from 85 to 60 degrees to 40 degrees in no time at all. It is funny how when winter turns to spring 50 degrees feels glorious and warm and you don't need a jacket anymore. But. But, when summer turns to fall and quickly to winter after a blissful 80 degrees 50 feels so COLD. What a wimp I have become and how quickly I forget.

I love the colors the leaves turn and how crisp and fresh the air feels and smells. There are piles of leaves, but no Solomon and Benjamin to burry in and laugh.

I am deciding to embrace the fall with all of the glorious pumpkin, root vegetable and squash recipes I can find. In doing so I am loving all of the cinnamon, nutmeg and clove and trying to be careful not to gain back the 15 pounds I worked so hard at getting off of my body. I must keep moving in all of my desire to curl up in a blanket and read all of the time mentality. As I walked up the stairs to get to the computer my muscles reminded me of how hard they are working for me after yesterday's workout. Must keep moving and not bake too many goodies and keep drinking tea instead of longing for hot chocolate.

tiny footprints on a mother's heart

when a baby arrives,

be it for a day, or longer

or perhaps only a sweet flickering moment

the fragile spark of a tender soul

the secret swell of a new pregnancy

the goldfish flutter known only to you

you are un mistakenly changed...

the tiny footprints left behind on your heart

bespeak your name as mother.

Held

Two months is too little

they let him go

they had no sudden healing

to think that providence

would take a child from his mother

while she prays is appalling

who told us we'd be rescued

what has changed and

why should we be saved from nightmares

we're asking why this happens to us

who have died to live, its unfair

this is what it means to be held

how it feels when the sacred is torn from your life

and you survive

this is what it is to be loved and to know

that the promise was that when everything fell

we'd be held

this hand is bitterness

we want to taste it and

let the hatred numb our sorrows

the wise hand opens slowly

to lilies of the valley and tomorrow

if hope is born of suffering

if this is only the beginning

can we not wait, for one hour

watching for our savior

this is what it means to be held

how it feels when the sacred is torn from your life

and you survive

this is what it is to be loved and to know

that the promise was that when everything fell

we'd be held

Held by Natalie Grant

Thanks Harmony for this song. It helps to get out the tears that weigh me down.

dog park

It has been a little while since I have read all of my friends beautiful blogs.  It has been a while since I have rambled and written.  I needed a season of self  I suppose.  Mother's day this year was harder than I expected.  Now I move forward again.  Still grieving, still wishing, still hoping, still praying to become a mother again.

For now I have my dog so you shall hear me ramble a bit about my dog, Dulce.......

Yesterday I had a glimpse into motherhood.  go a head and laugh while I tell you this.  We took Dulce to the dog park for the first time yesterday.  She is now 6 1/2 months and thought it was time to try.  It was lovely...... 14 acres of fenced in and partially wooded dog park.  I was so happy watching her boldly engage other dogs in a chase including a huge great dane named Orca!  I was so proud that when I called her she would return to me.  I was so proud to watch her in the whole experience.  I love dogs so much and was great for me to watch and pet many of the other dogs.  

When we were heading back toward the entry gate another "doodle" came in.  Jazmin was only 2 months older than Dulce.  Shortly after another 3 year old "doodle"  came and joined the fun.  After prompting by us the other doodle dog parents engaged in small talk and about their doodles.  the conversation was nice until they started asking about where we got our dog and where they got theirs.  My pet shop dog was looked down upon, though we did rescue her and she was prettier than the other two (hear defensive momma tones in my voice).  They went on and on about their breeders and knowing that their puppies have champion studs and dames for parents.  Who cares if you aren't going to show them or breed them.    My dog is healthy and happy.  They totally dismissed us and didn't include us in the rest of the conversation.  

I thought of what it would be like with a group of parents shunning my child because he/she is less than.  shame on them.  

We will go again.  Dulce will run and play with all of the other dogs and we will talk to many other nice, less snobby dog parents.